serendipity

i always re-read the texts from you that are stored in my phone before bed
lifting my head above the water, it's been so easy now that i can breathe again
breathe out, breathe out, breathe out....so i can breathe you in
your arms are such a safe place so would it be okay if i lived in them?
and even when i'm having the most random thoughts they all stem back to you
for the past two weeks i've been dreaming of y o u
it's perfection that you love the rain, because, i do too

fantasies

Falling in, falling under
I hear a whoosh of water over my head
A creak, a crack, a walk, a tiptoe
Quietly around the house and I know my hair is standing up on the ends
Biting the insides of my mouth numb trying not to tell you exactly how I feel
You just take me away,
Listening in that strange way, I’m quiet because I’m smiling and I’m sorry
A breath, a whisper, a “tell me something knows one else knows”
I want to be that one
It’s cold out but I know it’s warm in your arms
Can I just dive in and sleep all day?
Desiring to wake you with soft kisses on the warm spots of your face
The piano is speaking how my heart feels
“is this real, is this real, is this real?”
Just get inside my brain and run up and down its street
I’ll make myself smaller and smaller until I fit in the valves of your heart
I would tell you I love you, but I’ve been entranced since the start
And the feelings I feel for you are in colors that aren’t even named yet
I would travel the universe, with you hand in hand
It’s barely been a week
Seven days could quite possibly turn into seven months which could quite possibly turn into seven years. And seven times seven times seven times seven.
Don’t deny that you feel like you’ve known me since the dawn of time
I would say I can’t get you out of my mind but really, I can’t seem to get you out of my heart
I want to just lay together staring at the stars, without speaking, because I know you know exactly everything I want to say

change of the seasons

The only time I ever miss you these days is when I listen to Incubus.
I used to replay the long, slow months of the condo
Where grey winter turned into beautiful spring
I used to replay the sweet, fast blazing heat and days spent at the beach
When spring faded into summer
I used to replay the long days and weekends spent together
When summer faded to fall
I used to replay the fights and the makeup’s
When fall faded into winter
One year together.
365 days you conned your way into my life
With that slick rick smile and the charming personality of a fox
So smooth and clever, but even foxes get trapped in their own lies
I pictured my life with you, and when I left, it was hard to picture it without you
But now, I don’t think of you when I wake up in the mornings
Which was the worst, because I used to always wake up in your arms
The places where I should miss you are filled and boiling over with disgust
For the way you lied yourself into my mind. I never loved you,
I only loved the figment of you that I saw in the very beginning.
And come to think of it, I only ever saw that ghost the first few seconds of walking through those doors.
And I grabbed on and held tight, and you painted the picture you knew I seen in my mind.
Looking back, I can now see all of your evil sneers, and I can see all of your poison
You injected it into me, knowing the only cure lied inside of you.
No wonder I got trapped so easy. You addicted me to you from the second day.
And I had to get away, far away from you.
It’s like one day I woke up from a groggy place between sleep and I saw you for who you really were
You were never there, you had me tricked from the very start.

i think cupid shot me

Ironically it’s valentines day and I feel like I’m falling in love
So nervous to meet you, scared my heart will just take a leap out of my chest
I just want to get to know you, even though I feel like you’ve known me forever
It’s been one week, feels like one year, another week, hope it doesn’t feel like a lifetime
Sometimes I wish my heart wasn’t as big as a house, I hope you get trapped inside
I won’t let you out
I feel like I could just lay in bed and stare at you all day
Even though I have butterflies so big that I could fly to japan, in my heart there is a peacefulness, in knowing you will keep her safe and sound
You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, and for once I think I’ve found someone who is right for me in all the right ways. And it feels so much better than being right for me in the wrong ways.
Inside my heart an orchestra plays, sometimes it’s so hard to go to sleep these days
I just want you to stay, please stay, please stay

rarity

New life feels good
My mind feels clarified, clean, crisp, as my thoughts taste pure for once
Three am comes and goes so quickly
Butterflies in my stomach so big I could almost fly away
Taking a deep breath doesn’t feel like daggers into my lungs anymore
It’s nice to find yourself again, after what seems like a life time of being lost
Maybe it’s actually the first time I’ve ever met myself
Who knows, but I’m beginning to like this place
Where I’m at now, hopefully I will stay here a while

quant

i like to tip toe around the house
i like it when the air is so cold my skin feels like it's stretching to cover all of me
i finally found a piece of clarity in my mind
it feels so good to be able to sleep at night
every conversation keeps me on the edge of my seat
this feeling is so exciting
i don't know why i ever gave it up
especially for you

strange occurrences

as much as I want to keep our memories as a secret beneath my eyes, i know i have to let them out